Sunday, 20 November 2011 13:36

What I am experiencing RIGHT NOW.

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WOW - fear is amazing and seemingly neverending.  Each time I get ready to transition to a new level of being I experience fear.  This time I have been experiencing it for a few days and I DON"T LIKE IT!!!!  LOL!!

My mind has been using my computer and income woes as a distraction but I know that is not the source of my fear.  I have even been trying to latch onto the fact that my best source of spiritual assistance from another human is gone.  I know THAT is not the source of my fear either.  Actually I have been so supported financially that several people have stepped up with money to help me out and I am still afraid and cannot calm down.

What I know is that this is a huge step for me - moving completely into trust and living all the way in the present moment.  I am being asked to be the expanded being I have been flirting with for years without having any of the help I thought I needed to be able to do that - no consistant income at a level that actually works for me, no closeby friends or community, no partner and not even good health.  And I am afraid.   I had a beautiful breakthrough the fear last night where I became so clear about how I am trying to redirect the fear (to the income issues I mentioned before).  I also felt it lessen to a tolerable level but I am still expierencing it.   

I do know I will get through this and come out of it feeling fantastic, appreciating god and life even more than I ever thought possible. But for now I am noticing and appreciating that I am afraid AND I am still allowing the expansion and opening to continue.

By the way please don't write me to tell me not to be or feel afraid - that is kind of silly (and irritating) and if I could I would, and when I can I will.

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