WOW - fear is amazing and seemingly neverending. Each time I get ready to transition to a new level of being I experience fear. This time I have been experiencing it for a few days and I DON"T LIKE IT!!!! LOL!!
My mind has been using my computer and income woes as a distraction but I know that is not the source of my fear. I have even been trying to latch onto the fact that my best source of spiritual assistance from another human is gone. I know THAT is not the source of my fear either. Actually I have been so supported financially that several people have stepped up with money to help me out and I am still afraid and cannot calm down.
What I know is that this is a huge step for me - moving completely into trust and living all the way in the present moment. I am being asked to be the expanded being I have been flirting with for years without having any of the help I thought I needed to be able to do that - no consistant income at a level that actually works for me, no closeby friends or community, no partner and not even good health. And I am afraid. I had a beautiful breakthrough the fear last night where I became so clear about how I am trying to redirect the fear (to the income issues I mentioned before). I also felt it lessen to a tolerable level but I am still expierencing it.
I do know I will get through this and come out of it feeling fantastic, appreciating god and life even more than I ever thought possible. But for now I am noticing and appreciating that I am afraid AND I am still allowing the expansion and opening to continue.
By the way please don't write me to tell me not to be or feel afraid - that is kind of silly (and irritating) and if I could I would, and when I can I will.