Here I am, another Christmas alone. This year it is a blessed relief as I have either been too busy to sit still or too wound up to relax. Today I am doing both, and meditating. As I reflect on this past year and the years leading up to this one I am aware of the steady improvement in my life. There is now a certain basic income level that ensures I won’t be living on the streets (vastly different than many of the past 11 years), some lovely friends that are consistently supportive, and an ever-expanding awareness of the inner trust and allowing that is leading to an ever-improving attitude and energy. I also have a strong intuitive feeling that more community and a life partner is also on the way.
After everything I have been through I am doing my best not to be attached to these observations or intuitive future information. But today, when it is sunny, warmish, clear, and quiet, because so many people are home celebrating a holiday I do not identify with, I believe in the possibilities. I can very clearly connect with the quiet contentment inside and the patience and trust to allow it all to unfold.
Who knew I would ever use the word patience while referring to myself? But as the trust grows so does the patience. What a serendipitous gift!! No future tripping, or past regretting right now. Just being in this moment, knowing that all this inner work has had some positive effect and that it could create even more. Plus the hope that it will.
All is well.