So how is your awakening process going? Are you enjoying yourself through it? Sometimes I am, sometimes not. I am sooOOooo grateful I get back to my normal wacky sense of humor pretty quickly though. I have cleared enough, healed enough and moved into loving myself enough that I don’t tolerate putting aside that sense of humor, or being out of alignment with my higher self, for too long.
I am now aware that all those years of struggling to work on ‘stuff’ and wallowing in fear/anxiety or anger were definitely the hard way to go about spiritual growth. It was the only way I could go or I would have done it differently, but it was quite harsh. NOW? I want to laugh and I want it to be easy.
If I take a job because I am scared I won’t have enough money, and I start crying after I say yes, I know it is the wrong thing for me (yes that happened to me once and it turned out disastrous). If I try to develop a friendship because I am lonely and I have to do all the calling or reaching out, I let go. If I start getting upset because I can’t pay for certain things I want, or think I need, I know it is time to let the want go or open to the possibility of another way to get my needs met. I am still incredibly energetic, industrious, willing to go the extra mile and take action when needed, I just don’t tolerate struggle – internal or external.
And when I forget I have a wonderfully gentle friend who reminds me to relax and allow. This is a lovely benefit of spiritual growth.