WOW! Who would have thought it would take so long to get over missing the excitement of new things.
With detachment comes mourning. I loved the high of buying new clothing and other items, of discovering and enjoying new restaurants and connecting with new people. I am no longer getting that high because I am much more detached from things in the everyday physical world. I chose to fulfill my satisfaction needs from inner growth and expansion, never realizing how long the mourning phase might be.
Some part of me keeps driving me to look for that satisfaction outside of me even though it no longer happens. A similar thing happened with my attachment to drama. I let go of the drama a long time ago but part of me has missed it so much that every once in a while I try to recreate it. It is VERY short lived though just like the satisfaction from outside things is no longer occurring.
I am not dissatisfied with ‘stuff’ it just isn’t needed for my internal contentment and doesn’t bring even short lived happiness; kind of a weird feeling but also exhilarating. This is what I wanted and I got it. That happens rather rarely to me and I want to bask in appreciation of it. (Picture me wallowing and splashing around in it!! LOL!!)
It also means that listening to my guidance is SOooooOOo much easier. My emotions and ego are not drowning it out. What a difference that makes, although I felt lost for a while since most of my decisions were based on my emotional reaction rather than what is in the highest and best good for me. I am gradually adjusting to life guided both deeply and superficially by my intuitive wisdom.