As I stood at the window today looking out onto the birds, beautiful foliage and overcast sky, I sent love to myself throughout every moment of my life. It is time to let go of the pain of the past and today loving me seemed to be perfect. I am also allowing an expansion of my heart energy through forgiveness.
I forgive. I forgive myself for years and years of living in emotional pain, not knowing how to let go or heal to get better. I forgive myself for the bitterness and resentment I have had towards aspects of god showing up in human form to help me. Sometimes the ‘help’ was so hurtful it just made the pain worse. I forgive myself for turning to other people over and over for help when I didn’t know how to allow help from within. I forgive myself for choosing at some point and some level of my being to be stuck in such a deep pit of fear and despair that it took a long time to come out of it. I forgive myself for choosing to experience all of that in order to help others once I did come out of it. I forgive myself for the inner sorrow held on behalf of others. I forgive myself for attracting people through this pain and then expecting them to be better than it and pull me up out of it. I forgive myself for not knowing how to extricate myself gracefully from relationships I should never have engaged in (and wouldn’t have if I had listened to my intuitive guidance). I forgive myself for setting my human life up so that I do not fit into any socially accepted category, or any category in a socially acceptable way, in order to ensure great depth and great speed in my spiritual wakening. I forgive myself for all the ill will I have wished on others who had what I did not, who did not understand and got fed up with me or walked away, and those who picked what seems like easier paths in their current human lives. Today I also forgive myself for each and every attack I made upon myself, especially towards my physical body. I forgive myself for each time I didn’t listen to my intuition or for when I thought I was when I allowed my ego to control my emotions and my decisions. I even forgive myself for not being able to be excited about this great change happening in the story of my life.
I love me. It moves me greatly to be able to say/write that and mean it. And I do.