Each day this week I have been shown how supported and protected I am. I have been shown the true meaning of abundance – where the support and connection to and from others comes in all forms other than and including money. My head knew it, my intuition expressed it, and my heart felt it and my ego recognized it. For a few days this was enough. Then the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back floated like a magical wand straight into my deep reservoir of not-so-hidden fear in the form of additional, and serious, car troubles.
I got help from a great energy healer and I felt more relaxed and calmer. Later in the evening I psychically saw myself opening to more light, expanding the amount of higher self that was integrating into my body. I felt it physically move through my body. It was if the transformation was so grand that I could not feel that I had a body for a short while.
THEN all that was not this light was exposed. Wave after wave of fear crashed up from wherever it had been suppressed. I was so overwhelmed and miserable. I was beside myself with it, restless, being taken over by it, and crying. I did a lot of yelling (begging) out to God for help. I also recalled quite clearly praying for a breakthrough just the day before (that will teach me).
After doing a lot of deep breathing, I remembered me – who I really am. I reached out for the eternal me – the authentic me, the expanded me and I took a stand. I declared to my ego that I would not use ANY of my coping mechanisms to feel better - no eating, no spending money, no whining on facebook, no going anywhere, and no calling anyone. Instead, I walked into the fear energy.
I felt the rawness of it, the soreness, and how congested and dense it was. I very clearly saw and felt a LOT of spirit guides chanting and helping. It kind of felt like breathing in mist only it was fear. The fear began dissipating the longer I stayed with it. So many visions came to me about the sources of the fear - from descending into being human (I thought I had to take on fear in order to live as human), from my culture/religion, from my father, from my mother, from lovers and friends, and from so many other people and lifetimes. All of it dissolving and transforming. The light expanded. What a relief. Tears of joy. The guides led me deeper into ritual and relaxation. I do not remember the chant or the ritual only that it was there. They murmured to me that NOW I can safely and successfully bring my higher 5D (or 6D) self into my conscious every day human life. Now my life here on earth will be easier.
Exhausted, I can breathe now.