One of the things you learn as you open and blossom spiritually is that you and you alone are responsible for your reactions, your emotions and your choices. No matter what another person chooses, wants or creates, you have choice in how you respond – or if you respond.
It is a very freeing notion but it can also be a scary one. That means there is no way or need to blame anyone else for how you feel around them. The only choice is do you want to continue to be around them, or communicating with them? Check in with your intuition first to find out if it is in your highest and best good to continue the relationship as it is, time to change your perceptions and expectations and let the relationship continue, or time to just let go.
No matter what you choose know it is your choice. Even if the other person makes no change in their behavior or attitude you still have choice. It doesn’t matter what hurtful words might have been exchanged or if there is some blaming or finger pointing going on. The truth is (as I mentioned above) you have full choice and full responsibility. So when you are contemplating how to proceed, focus on your intuition, your reactions, your triggers and emotions not anything about the other person.
I recently had a conversation (well many) with a friend which pointed out some very different perceptions of how our relationship has been going (well we kind of agreed on how it is going, it is the why that was very different). I also noticed a great deal of anger towards her. Now I know if I am that angry there is an expectation I have been carrying that I feel has not been fulfilled. Whatever the expectation is, it is MY expectation and the other person has no obligation to fulfill it, unless there has been a verbal or written agreement specifically made about it. In this case there was not.
So I went inward and found nothing. I expected (there is that word again) to find some anger, hurt, entanglement etc.; and it might be there, I am just not finding it - yet. Maybe I am in shock still from the conversation? Maybe I have acknowledged my responsibility enough that I am at peace with it? I am not feeling bad, guilty or angry (my three ‘go-to’ usual responses). But it is more likely that I trust enough to know that this will work out the way it is supposed to for our highest good. I will have the enlightening moments of clarity when I am ready and the relationship will evolve in a manner exactly designed for our best spiritual growth. I have let go of the anger/blaming I was doing and whatever expectation I had of her. I am grateful to have had this learning opportunity to embrace more fully my responsibility as it serves to increase my spiritual mastery in the every day world.