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Wednesday, 15 January 2014 23:25

OOOPS - I forgot

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I am 54 - well past the age where I should have to even bother with how I look. I am definitely in the wise woman stage of my life. I started working out to improve my health yet the vast amount of 'crap' around looks and weight that is moving on up and out to be healed and loved up obfuscated the whole reason I thought I was guided to join a gym. I am surprised there is still so much, including the belief that if I am not thin enough or look good enough (according to some standard I will never meet) I won't find a partner. And maybe THAT IS one of the reasons I was pretty much pushed into a gym – to heal all that stuff.

(Now, mind you, I have never had a partner in this life even though I still seem to be clinging to the notion that I want one. In my continuing inner discovery of who I am I might find out I really don't, but not yet.)

I seem to have lost the focus of better health and fortifying my body to hold the vast amount of energies that flow through and want to stick, as well as releasing anything that no longer resonates with the incredibly high vibration my body is moving into. The incredibly wonderful notion that I am bringing all the spiritual energy fully into the body (FINALLY) just went away as I go to a gym every day where people work out to look good and as all that stuff that I sublimated as I have lived is purging itself out of me (oh and as the owner of another place I joined to use machines to help reduce inflammation and heal joint pain decided he needed to talk to me about my food choices to ‘help’ me lose weight).

So I have taken a step back and regained my focus. I am projecting my unconditionally loving heart energy through me, forgiving myself for lowering my vibration in the face of so many other people’s issues and in the midst of all my inner clearings. I am envisioning that same lovely god energy/all that is/loving energy flowing through the two places I work out to help me remember to be who I truly am when I go. I am considering this just another place to practice being me no matter what else is going on while all the experiences combine to help me continue to expand my awareness of who I am.

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