We can sum up all the intense inner and outer shifts in consciousness as a return to love. We are jettisoning everything that has kept us from recognizing acceptance and love in all its forms. Before I began learning to love myself I would spend a lot of time fantasizing about what I might do if I won the lottery as a way to escape my everyday life. I spent so much time in these day dreams that I disconnected from my life and it became more and more intolerable.
But as myconsciousness has expanded, my self-love has grown and so has my confidence and my connection to my self-worth. I am not as resistant to my life and my attitude has changed dramatically. There have been some minute improvements in my physical life but overall it is mostly just a perception shift.
However, I am finding some of the very things I used to fanatasize about are now a part of my life. For instance, I used to dream of being able to pay for a personal trainer and that I would take time to really work out to assist in the healing of my body. Then I was guided to join the local YMCA last December and am now learning to exercise gently as often as I can, even when I am dead tired and working too hard to make enough money. Part of my fantasy also included always having lots of flowers around. I love flowers and seeing them makes me smile. I noticed in the past month that I have started buying flowers at a local discount place. Having them in my room lifts my spirits.
I would have told you I could not afford these things but I really think that was just an excuse because I didn’t think I was worth the effort. Yes, it all costs money and there are months when I feel I am working just to pay the rent and for these things (plus a car repair bill that just never seems to go down). It can get weary if I focus on that. Today I am focusing on how I am manifesting the more important things I used to fantasize about all the time – without winning the lottery. I am calmer in my life more accepting overall and doing these things to support myself have made a difference in my ability to continue my spiritual evolution.