I make art because it makes me happy. I follow my intuition’s nudging as to which kind of crafting or art I engage in. Last September I covered the roof of my car in beads and ‘acrylic gems’. Every single time I look at my car I am happy. I get a lot of positive feedback from others on how it touches their hearts and inspires them. It was a lovely thing to do for my heart and soul and for others.
Recently someone mentioned that I need a lot of attention, probably left over wounds from the lack of decent parenting, in a very judgmental and matter of fact way. I was hurt for a short period of time that this person felt like I still act like a victim and act out because I want attention. I have done a lot of work and shifting on that and love myself more than ever. I guess I wanted to be seen for who I am now and I was hurt by her judgment of me. She is someone I have loved deeply her whole life (literally).
I forgot, although for only a short time, that people can only see me through THEIR filters. My love of bright, bold colors and things and my living out loud (sharing all parts of me without shame) is part of loving me and being who I am in this world. It is part of my service to this world. This other person has withdrawn a lot in recent years because her new religious group thinks women should be seen and not heard (and preferably not seen either) and that people are basically the dirt under which God walks (my interpretation, certainly not her words). I also forgot I don’t need her approval.
I can appreciate the realization that I do love myself more than ever and that her judgment is hers, has nothing to do with me. I also appreciate my deeper knowledge that these bright colors and living out loud satisfy my soul and are in alignment with my purpose on earth. So I thank her for her part in guiding me to that realization and for showing me some more healing that I could allow. Another step in my ever-developing self-love process.