What would you consider a satisfying life? What came to your mind first when you read those words?Was it a new car, house, relationship?
I have to admit that is what used to come to me – a relationship, better health, a thinner body, and more income. But I have had two full days of experiencing complete satisfaction in every moment, even while supporting two friends in very different ways.
Now I have experienced the joy of this satisfaction for a moment or an hour or two before. I am quietly grateful and joyfully thrilled for two whole days and the knowledge that this IS who I truly am and can (and will) continue to be me while in the human body.
I have been working with a new guide – or at least I thought I was. Each day she has guided me step by step to new understanding and levels of awareness of me. I have been healing some old angry and limiting energies along the way.
On Tuesday I woke up feeling very full of loving energy, did some calm, sacred meditation in the morning and spent the entire afternoon outside, mostly on the beach. I supported a friend in allowing her energy to align properly and then shift into a new energy level for her (it actually shifted twice). I also was guided to open to another level of awareness. I had to sit down to allow it (on the cold wet sand!! LOL!!) It began with what looked like a vertical line down the center of my body. The line then began to open and as the edges spread apart more and more light came through until it was wider than my body. It was all easily, smoothly and beautifully done. A very sacred day indeed.
What was most important for me is that I was so filled up with my self that I never felt like I was giving too much or that there wasn’t any room or support for me. It mattered not what my friend was feeling or projecting or wanting, I was still calm and completely filled with this satisfying energy of me.
Then yesterday I spent most of the day helping another friend with more mundane tasks that seemed complicated to her but were second nature for me (some business stuff). While assisting her with this business stuff she became more open to allowing some help with some spiritual growth also. She was able to allow it without a lot of anger and resistance – her usual MO. After we finished, I was guided to go out to the beach by her apartment, this time alone. During the long walk I was guided to allow deeper integration of energy very similar to the new guide’s. Now at first I thought I was integrating what I thought WAS the guide. Then I realized it was a higher vibrational aspect of me. Today I can feel the integration continuing and the consciousness of this aspect sinking in to me or me rising to its level (words are so inadequate).
It is a very different way of integrating, I think. For all I know this may have happened before but my awareness was more limited so I didn’t experience it this way. I really like how I got the time to know this part of me before it integrated.
Additionally, I have known for years that I wanted to support others in their spiritual awakening as a way to earn money but have been frustrated because I have had so little opportunity for this. I wasn’t fully conscious of my inner resentment that flared if I spent too much time helping others without a visible return to me (in money or spiritual help or other ‘payback’). I knew I tied it too tightly to money but was so wigged out about my money situation I couldn’t separate it until I recently did some more healing on my money issues and the inner me that was so angry that felt as if I ‘never got anything I wanted.’
So here’s what I know for today (borrowing Oprah’s words). I LOVE feeling completely satisfied without a care as to what is going on outside of me with my friends, my money, my cat, my health, the world or the weather, etc. I choose to be this way no matter what. I feel very confident that my way in the world will be easier because I am allowing this connection to myself to be so complete.