I get triggered by all sorts of events, places and people. Triggered means that some inner emotion or energy is activated or pushed to show itself -usually because it is time for healing.
On Tuesday night I went to a dinner with a friend and someone else she had invited triggered me big time with her neediness, illnesses and sticky energy (a bit of ’save me’ kind of energy). I was triggered because I have had (and may still have) that SAME energy within me – the desire for someone else to save me – but ALSO because I have been going through a rather amazing transformation this week that is leading to a much more integrated and fulfilled me. I also know it is going to change my life a lot once it is fully integrated.
So the tricky, fearful ego (and the very smart higher self) used this woman’s neediness and illnesses and my reaction to her energy as an opening to both take in some of her attachments (nasty bug looking energy) and to bring up or uncover another pocket of an old frequency that needed healing in order to move into the new integrated being of me. My pattern is that when I am afraid of moving ‘forward’ in my spiritual growth I find some way to bring up old energy that interferes with smooth, easy transformation. It also makes sure that I am thorough in my integrating so it goes faster (remember, faster is hardly ever easier).
My reaction was that I didn’t sleep well Tuesday night and yesterday I was irritated and angry at store clerks, things did not go smoothly for me with a bank transaction (I actually had to leave the bank and go to another branch) and I began eating out of control. I intuitively got that it was due to my reaction to the woman the night before and took steps to clear what I might have picked up BUT I didn’t see or was not aware of how this was used to bring up some old energy that was within me. So I didn’t address that until last night. Once it cleared I was able to allow my current process to continue – until my inner damaged protector showed up to resist (and he integrated this am (see blog 1 for today for that story).
I made sure to bless that woman and my friend for their role in helping me with the next step in my healing.