Then a very deep lovely wave of feminine divine energy rose up within me, suffusing every thought, every cell and every emotion in everywhere and when I exist. We are all integrating some layer of this depending on our level of openness and receptivity.
Then waves of fear and ego made their presence known, strongly resisting the reconnection with this new level of divinity within. I worked with them for almost an entire day before I found the inner calm again.
Today lots of tears with more clearing of old beliefs and expectations so I could connect with the energy stream of abundance and move energetically into ease for 2010.
THEN, acceptance. – Acceptance of how things have gone, of what has actually occurred in my life, and of all the experiences I have endured up to this point as being perfect. It is perfect because if it could have been different for me it would have been. I have also been shown how some of the harshest most hurtful events were created to support maximum spiritual growth for me. Complete (or as complete as it can be given my state at the moment) acceptance is allowing the energy to flow freely, full of vitality and joy. Plus I am calm again and able to write easily.
How is this affecting my every day life (after all that is the focus of these blogs)?
Well today I had a bad headache building until I could get to the acceptance energy, then it stopped. My client today went through a very illuminating process to move into abundance and 2010 energy and helping her through it helped me relax and lift my vibration also.
During transitions I tend to be much more vulnerable to the energies around me and this time it was no different. Earlier in the day I had to go to the bank and was triggered by or picked up a bunch of generalized fear energy from the tellers. It was so strong I had to take a shower to release it. I forgot to check in with my guidance about attending a dinner I was invited to and when I got there I was irritated with the hostess, someone I love dearly, and negatively impacted by her friend’s energy. Normally I would shake that off, but I couldn’t do it while I was there because of the processing I have been doing. I have wanted to go to the movie theaters since last Tuesday but each day receive the intuitive guidance not to (so I won’t be around so much energy from other people that is not nurturing to me OR from the movies themselves). I haven’t spent too much time with anyone since this process began percolating and I was very dissatisfied with being alone so much until today’s acceptance portion of the processing happened.
As this process began I was intuitively guided to begin a quilt using funny cat fabric that I have been collecting for years, even though I also got the quilt is going to be for someone else. I don’t usually make bed or lap quilts because I just don’t like them (I make quilted wall art) but this time I am. Sewing helps me focus completely on right now and keeps my mind from whirling around too much.
I was also guided to release all my paints and some jewelry-making and knitting supplies within the past week. Guess what? Through a very synchronistic set of events it almost ALL went to people teaching at risk kids – very cool. The timing was perfect (and divinely guided).
When I was in the resistance phase I ate a lot of food, beyond what was comfortable, and ate a lot of food that negatively affects (ie food I am allergic to or lots of sugar, which is like eating poison for me) my body. I was caught in the grip of my addictive behavior around food and could not make myself stop until I was able to address the fears about this next level of being. Thereafter, I have been able to get back to eating in a way that supports me (rather than hurts me).
I had a thought last week that if I stopped using my ATM card and actually used cash I would probably stick to my budget better. The next day my ATM card stopped working!!!! There was some glitch with the banks computers and it got taken care of pretty quickly but wow!!
Right now I am sitting here very calm and content, not beating myself up about anything, with no plans for the rest of the day, open to my intuitive guidance. That is how I have been affected so far.