Wednesday, 02 December 2009 09:31

Practicing What I Preach (and Know)

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 It is one thing to believe that as long as I embrace (and hopefully am healing) my fears I will create a life I want from that positive energy; or, in other words, that I am aligning with the vibration of the physical comfort and financial ease I desire. It is another thing to live day to day on the razor’s edge between terror and trust and between acceptance of what is and yearning for more. I hear and receive all kinds of intuitive reassurance that all is fine and will continue to be fine in my life but I don’t feel it or truly know it, yet (I hope it is yet).
This is truly an incredibly intense opportunity to practice integrating the spiritual into the physical. And I am practicing away but there are days when I feel like a failure. Since the underlying fear is so strong it merely retreats into the background rather than releasing – or I have so many layers to get through that more and more fear just comes up. Either way, every hour of every day I have to choose again to be in trust and to reconnect with the feeling of being loved and supported. I like it better when things flow easier or when an opening occurs and then I get to experience a shift right away. This re-choosing every day, many times a day, is hard and I worry it is requiring more focus than I will continue to have.
I am proud of how I am holding up but oh my god!! What in the world did I agree to that led to this and how do I get it to change without losing myself in the fear?
Prayers are gratefully accepted!!!
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