Sunday, 22 November 2009 09:41

Difficult Integration

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I am always excited when big changes occur in my energy and I get lovely visions and explanations of what is happening. Then it all begins to integrate into the physical. Right now I am having a difficult time with that, mostly because I don’t handle uncertainty well (haven’t quite thoroughly tapped into the my own trust yet). I went through a big change last week, dragging my feet the whole way. I have been recovering since and am in the void that always occurs before new stuff shows up in my every day life.

Everything about this particular shift feels sluggish, including the integration process. As I mentioned either in a blog or recent article the most immediate shift was the need to change doctors. I believe a job I was going after also shifted, the timing of it or the actual job – not sure which. I will know on Tuesday. I also have no desire to make art, attempt to go to events to meet people, or do anything to promote my business. I am definitely in a resting time.

That would normally be fine if I wasn’t running out of money or if I trusted that all would truly be ok in my human life (I know it is for the ‘real’ or true me but I need it to be that way in my physical life too). I find it difficult to relax and enjoy life when I am worrying about my finances. Each time I am aware of the worry, I breathe deeply, do energy work to expand anywhere I might have contracted, and choose to trust. It seems like I end up doing that a lot but I am not sure if I am actually trusting more or becoming more vigilant about worrying. My choice is to trust more!!! LOL!!

I plan to meditate today on all of this with the intention of connecting better to trust and receiving some guidance for the next steps on my spiritual evolution path.

 

In the meantime I have been listing my desires/choices in my head for those steps and am sharing them below:

I choose to be grateful for the inheritance that has supported me these past 4 years and to know that I will continue to be supported financially fully and comfortably in my human, physical, life.

I choose to think good thoughts about people all the time and, in general, expect the best.

I choose to love myself so much that I take appropriate care of my physical body with food, exercise, and health care.

I choose to open all the inner doors to allowing a mate in and follow the guidance from my higher self to be in the right place at the right time to meet him in a timely manner.

I choose to adopt ways to handle my emotions when they feel bad without overeating, spending money or complaining.

 

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