Today I trust. I am accepting, calm and grounded. The most recent result of all the internal and physical shifts is that I am very grounded and calm and trusting. I like it. I have touched this place before but only momentarily and immediately was knocked out of it by my fear.
Once I move into a new energy I can hardly remember the old and this is no exception. I do not remember what the fear was about but it was strong enough for me to invite back in drama and chaos. Each time I have moved a step closer to balancing my ego with my heart and spirit, this kind of thing has happened so I imagine the balancing is stronger now. I imagine that my ego is becoming like my emotions – there and noticeable but not controlling me. It is different and fine.
After other shifts I have felt a bit lost and vulnerable. Not this time. I now know that lost feeling was coming from my ego not know what to do. Since the balancing is stronger I notice the thought of lost but it is not permeating my being or controlling/poking at my emotions.
Again, very different than what I am used to and very welcome. Just goes to show that we truly do not know how things are going to be when we move to the higher dimensions of existence or to a more balanced way of being. When I was repeating patterns I wasn’t there even if I thought I was. Oh perhaps I moved a step or two closer but not there. And I know in a few months when I look back I will realize that this too is just another step. But this step seems to be a bigger one or at least different enough that the result is different.
I am very internal right now and ok with that. I do not want to be distracted by shops, tv, other people’s fears, going out or being around anything with sharp energy. I am enjoying just being. It is nice.