Rosie has been guiding me for a few weeks now. She came as a new guide to help me open to more abundance and looks like a gorgeous little fairy with dark curly hair and a pink small dress. She’s sassy, straight talking, educational and very magical. I know she is a part of me but it is fun to have guidance come in this form.
We talk every day and now she is integrating into my consciousness rather than appearing as a separate guide.
She has taught me so much. I have been focusing on opening to abundance in the physical world all year. It has been my main focus as a matter of fact. I have heard for years that there is lots of it around me but no one, NO ONE, has helped me get it into the physical world. So that has been my mission this year. Along the way I have had to do a lot more releasing, surrendering and expanding.
For instance, I narrowly defined abundance as having more of what I didn’t have – money, friendships, community, health. Rosie has taught me that abundance shows up in the expansive energy, in the limitless places within. Abundance is allowing ease in my life, more kindness to myself, more trust in things working out just fine, more physical comfort and beauty (this week in the form of flowers and some very high thread count sheets she wants me to buy), a strong balance between work and fun (since I worry about money all the time I tend to view everything I do as a way to earn more and it gets tedious; this week I actually went to the movies and enjoyed myself), and a lot of openness as to how money comes to me.
The results have been some astounding financial potential. I still had to borrow money to pay rent but it was lent with graciousness and love (no judgment – at least none voiced or projected). One of the jobs I have had since July but really diminished in the fall opened back up and I am now cleaning houses for it quite often. I picked up a few clients who have needed help packing and another who needs help cataloguing and selling his antique and art collection before he loses his house. Additionally, I am going next week to test for a possible permanent part time civil service job more in line with my business skills. Lots of opportunity for enough income to actually pay my bills and perhaps even pay back some of the money I borrowed.
I am now coping with some deep internal sadness, and maybe a little depression, because none of these methods of earning income touch my heart or make my soul sing; and one of them is actually painful for my body. They are practical and I am grateful. I know that is part of the reason it took so long for me to allow it all in – because I really wanted to create a magical life where I got to do only that for which I have great passion. I am being reminded intuitively that everything has a purpose and to stay in the present moment and in the gratitude I have for this shift in my every day life. It is part of my spiritual mastery. I spend a lot of time breathing into any constriction or ego around what I have been holding on to tightly for 11 years as my passion.
One of the side serendipitous results of all the changing this year is that I have become a lot more positive and a lot less dramatic. So I am following my guidance for all of these changes, choosing to believe they are leading me deeper into happiness and contentment, no matter what I do to earn income in this physical plane of existence.
I have also allowed more abundance through some pretty great friendships and a growing circle of spiritual support. Just in the past few weeks I have come to know that all of the internal changes I have made are somehow also leading me to be ready for a mate. I am not exactly sure how but I am thrilled about that.
I appreciate my ability to allow these kinds of shifts, to be ready for Rosie and whatever other part of me wishes to show up for wonderful guidance (and there is another part that I can just barely discern coming – it is more lavender in color), while I pray for stamina to weather the physical demands of all this work and healing for any emotional weariness arising from all the releasing of expectations and attachments.